My New Ad - REO Property Preservation Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 09-24-2014, 08:15 AM Thread Starter
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My New Ad

Ok, I am starting my OWN property Preservation company...Here is my ad...Please call SOON.. I need your help.. (this is a joke, not real)


Super Reliable Property Preservation LLC is now looking for dependable, reliable and honest contractors to help us with a huge overflow of bank work on foreclosed homes. CALL today for immediate work, below are the guide lines and pay rates.

* Must have E and O insurance, Liability insurance, Workers Comp Insurance, Commercial Auto Insurance, Life Insurance, Flood Insurance and all must have our company as a beneficiary.
* Must be able to complete all orders in a 24hr turn around
* Must wear company approved outfits which include suit, tie, top hat in in some situations and cane.
* Must provide photos of all work stages, including you leaving your home, using bathroom, thinking, etc
* Must wait at least 90 days for payment of invoices
* We reserve the right to cut and backcharge you if we need extra cash to float our company
* Must pass a back round check, doctors check up and extensive mental screening

WE ARE A INTERNATIONAL COMPANY and work under the banks!

CALL TODAY

Example of pay rates:

Inspection $1.00 (MANY chances to get more jobs if you find stuff wrong to bid on)

Grass Cut $5.00 (up to 10 acres and 6' high)

Winterization $3.00 (we provide pink colored water for antifreeze)

Debris $1.00 yd (you can keep what you want!)
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 09-25-2014, 11:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adorler View Post
Ok, I am starting my OWN property Preservation company...Here is my ad...Please call SOON.. I need your help.. (this is a joke, not real)


Super Reliable Property Preservation LLC is now looking for dependable, reliable and honest contractors to help us with a huge overflow of bank work on foreclosed homes. CALL today for immediate work, below are the guide lines and pay rates.

* Must have E and O insurance, Liability insurance, Workers Comp Insurance, Commercial Auto Insurance, Life Insurance, Flood Insurance and all must have our company as a beneficiary.
* Must be able to complete all orders in a 24hr turn around
* Must wear company approved outfits which include suit, tie, top hat in in some situations and cane.
* Must provide photos of all work stages, including you leaving your home, using bathroom, thinking, etc
* Must wait at least 90 days for payment of invoices
* We reserve the right to cut and backcharge you if we need extra cash to float our company
* Must pass a back round check, doctors check up and extensive mental screening

WE ARE A INTERNATIONAL COMPANY and work under the banks!

CALL TODAY

Example of pay rates:

Inspection $1.00 (MANY chances to get more jobs if you find stuff wrong to bid on)

Grass Cut $5.00 (up to 10 acres and 6' high)

Winterization $3.00 (we provide pink colored water for antifreeze)

Debris $1.00 yd (you can keep what you want!)

I would say, you nailed it
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 09-26-2014, 11:09 PM
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 10-03-2014, 07:13 AM
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Hey I used to work for one of these joke companies. Here's a few others.


You don't have to pick up grass clippings, don't worry about it..... (3 days later)
YOU NEED TO PICK UP THOSE CLIPPINGS OR YOU WON'T BE PAID.


Contractor: This job will cost $925 to complete.
Associate: It's ok just BATF like it says...
(after paycheck comes in)
Contractor: I was only paid $320 for my work, that doesn't even cover labor.
Associate: I'm sorry, that's what the bank allowed us. You can submit a claim with us though.
(after submitting a claim)
...
...
...
...


I have 3 jobs in this area that you need to do by yesterday... oh and did I mention they are all about 200 miles apart. Oh and if you don't complete these, you will get a chargeback. Have fun!
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